Jeff was quizzing me a few days ago on who said "Let them eat cake" to see how smart I am (which I totally knew the answer to) (with a one word prompting), and it got me thinking about how glad I am not to be in the public eye, just to go down in history for the dumbest thing I ever said or did, despite accuracy. Fame's not all it's cracked up to be if it's your fate to be remembered for your most brilliant moments.
Like yesterday. We were having a particularly great day- the kind where your child throws the biggest tantrum and you want to throw them out the window but you refrain because you know it's not appropriate to actually throw your child out the window. As an alternative, I'm a door slammer. Sometimes it just feels so good to show that door frame who's boss. You know, since I can't throw anything (or anyone) off the roof. So yesterday, after a really great afternoon of screaming, crying, and general mutiny, I came out of the bathroom in a controlled rage, and with all the frustration of the last hour and a half, slammed that door as hard as I could. On my own finger. I seriously wanted to die. I think I'd put the pain up there with natural childbirth (like I would really know). It was not a pretty moment, and I'm glad that I'm not Tom Cruise jumping like a madman on Oprah's couch for the world to see.
Yes, I see the irony in putting this out publicly (if you can call it that), but I have a feeling it won't spread the word too far. And hopefully I'll be remembered a little more kindly in my children's young minds and not as a screaming maniac spurting blood and jumping up and down like the crazy woman that I was.
4 comments:
Oh! Ouch. Serves you right. I would NEVER slam a door when I'm mad. Throw down whatever I'm holding, like I am 2, maybe.
For the record, Marie Antoinette never actually said that. It was just attributed to her by the revolutionary propagandists of the time.
Sorry about your finger...
Carolyn- I do that, too.
Kate- That's good to know. And it makes more sense that it would be put out by propagandists than that she would actually be that ignorant. Don't worry. My finger got better.
I have those days, and since I live in an apartment, I often wonder if my neighbors think that I am beating my child when he screams at the top of his lungs. I see them and sheepishly smile.
And I can't forget the days when he is opening defiant and refuses to move and I have Grant in a carrier so I can't just pick him up. I basically have to drag him in public by an arm. I look lik mom #1.
Oh, and slamming your finger is SO painful. I can vouch it probably is up there with natural child birth since unfortunately I had to experience that with Grant (he came too fast for an epidural).
Don't worry whatever you are doing, I'm sure you have 100X more patience than I do.
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